Jackie the Beanstalk
Chapter 11
Here There Be Dragons
IT WAS DOWNRIGHT SPOOKY in the morning to just wake up, fix breakfast, and break camp without any conflicts, attacks, strange people, or weirdness around us. The other campers were also stirring, but each allowing the others their privacy. It looked like a family camp and most of the people were there for longer than a single night.
As we sat around our fire eating breakfast and drinking coffee, we saw people out walking—some looking like they were prepared for a major hike. We returned their waves and everyone smiled. I started getting uneasy. This was just too idyllic. Then a couple stopped and turned in at our campsite with their friendly wave.
“Welcome, strangers,” the man said. “We’re the camp hosts, Frankie and Johnnie. You planning to stay on a while?”
“Oh, no,” I drawled. “We’re just overnighting. Do we owe a fee?”
“The campgrounds in Victoriana are free to the public. No fees necessary,” the woman responded. “You must be on a quest. Do you need any information?”
“As a matter of fact,” Misty said, “we’re looking for Baron Federico Rex, who was kidnapped from East Love.”
“Oh! Didn’t know he’d been kidnapped. Old man Hakuryu said the boy was his great nephew. If you just continue up this road—oh, I’d say—thirty miles, you’ll get to Gold Bar. Pretty good sized city for this part of the Land,” the man said. “Turn left at—let me see now, one, two, yeah—the third traffic light, and just outside the city limits you’ll come to The Trove. It’s a gated community where everyone is rich, beautiful, and pleasant. Two out of three. I’m not exactly sure which place is Hakuryu’s, but someone there should be able to tell you.”
“You mean everyone knows this Hakuryu and that he has the Sovereign’s son in his house and no one has done anything about it?” I asked in disbelief.
“Well, the boy—Baron—is kind of a local legend. He’s got the best Last Battle score going and is an absolute wizard at the Quazar Arcade.”
“Ha!” Princess exploded. “I can beat him at Last Battle anytime.”
“Let’s not start the negotiations with a challenge,” I said. “Remember you have a different goal. Maybe he’s gotten better.”
“Yeah. Like, sure.”
“I think we should pack up and hit the road. Looks like we’re near our goal,” Misty said. I thanked the camp hosts and we got the tent and food put away. I doused the coals while Roadkill and Shasta took one more outdoor opportunity and the rest of us used the latrines again. It was definitely time to move.
Mile 1364
The TripTik agreed with the host’s directions and in a little over an hour, we were pulling up to the gated community, The Trove. What a strange name. I gave the gate attendant the name of Hakuryu and that the Wizard Warrior and Princess were calling. I wanted to include Misty, too, but she didn’t have a title, so I just said, ‘and company.’ It seemed to be adequate for the guard. He called someone and then opened the gate.
“Last one, straight ahead,” he said, waving us through. It was almost as if we were expected. I wondered if Valentine got here before us.
The community was entirely huge estates with a hodgepodge of every style dwelling imaginable, as long as the McMansion could be supersized. There was a soaring glass contemporary next to a Victorian gingerbread. Then one made of stone and another in typical Texas-style colonial with a two-story entry and columns along the front. The last house on the cul-de-sac was a Gothic mansion straight out of Frankenstein. Oh, that was a comforting thought!
We drove straight up to the parking area in front of the doors and all jumped out of the car. I was looking around for possible threats, but didn’t even see another car. I assumed they must be inside the carriage house. I laughed at that, because there was a basketball hoop above one of the garage doors. Well, maybe Baron was the active type. The door of the mansion opened and a man in a butler outfit—I guess it’s just a tux with tails and white gloves—stepped out to greet us.
“Please come in and refresh yourselves. Mister Hakuryu begs your pardon until the mid-day repast as he is terribly busy at the moment. I have prepared a room for you. Please forgive me if my assumption that you would all want to room together is incorrect.”
“A room?” I said. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to freshen up. We camped out last night. Okay. Thanks.” He led us up a massive flight of stairs and along a second floor balcony to double doors that opened into a light and airy room with a huge bed on one side and correctly sized dog and cat beds at the foot. He pointed at a bell cord.
“If you need anything at all, just ring.” He bowed and pulled the doors closed behind him.
“This place is bigger than the ghost hotel,” Princess said.
“How did that butler guy know we were going to arrive today so he had a room ready for us?” Misty asked. “And how did he know how many and of what species are in our party? Look, a dog and cat bed just the right size.”
“Yeah. Look in the bathroom,” Princess added. “Three sets of towels, fluffy robes, and even our favorite shampoos.”
“It seems strange,” I said, “but everything that happens seems strange to me these days. If Mr. Hakuryu is busy ‘until mid-day repast,’ why didn’t he take us to see Baron? And why am I so tired, I think I’ll pass out on that big bed?”
“Do we dare?” Misty asked, bouncing on the side of the bed.
“We’re in the dragon’s lair now. It’s too late to question his hospitality,” I yawned. We all three collapsed and went to sleep.
The knocking on the door woke us up. I jumped out of bed to find out what was going on.
“Dinner will be served in forty-five minutes. Your clothes have been cleaned and pressed. There are fresh towels in the bath. Please follow Midge to the dining room when you are ready,” the butler said when I opened the door.
“Okay. Sure.” I looked behind him and a small woman nodded and bobbed her head. I turned back to my companions. Misty and Princess jumped out of bed naked and I realized I was bare as well.
“When did they take our clothes?” Princess asked. “I don’t remember undressing.”
“There are only three possibilities,” Misty pronounced as she headed toward the shower. “Either we got up and took them off so they could be cleaned and then forgot about it; or we were so deeply asleep that they came in and undressed us without waking us up; or the clothes were spirited off our bodies and cleaned by magic.” She paused in the doorway while I spoke.
“Or four: Jackie is dreaming and that detail wasn’t important, so it was skipped over.”
“Yeah. Or that,” Misty said. She started the shower and we cycled in and out, getting ourselves dressed in clothes that looked as good as new. There wasn’t a speck of blood on any of my clothes, which I found amazing after the amount that had been sprayed on me. When Midge rapped softly on our door, we were ready. Even the dog and cat had clean vests and boots and collars. It was like being in the last scene of Star Wars where they all go into the award ceremony sparkling clean in the same clothing they did battle in. Did it ever strike you as strange that the only person in that entire series who ever changed clothes was Princess Leia? We followed Midge to the dining room.
Mr. Hakuryu greeted us. Standing beside him was ten-year-old Baron Federico Rex.
“Rico!” Princess said, jumping forward to hug her brother.
“Bridge,” he answered, embarrassed by the outpouring but still wanting to hug his sister.
“My gosh, you’ve grown! You’re almost as tall as I am,” Princess said.
“Yeah, but you’ve always been short,” he answered.
“Come, children. Heroes. Familiars. Let’s sit and relate adventures as we eat.” He seated Baron next to him and Princess to the seat beside her brother. The butler ushered me to the other side of Hakuryu and Misty sat beside me. The dog and cat had places on the floor at the foot of the table. The food began arriving in abundance! I didn’t realize how hungry I’d become. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hungry again.
“You wouldn’t believe the game room here!” Baron was telling his sister. “Ryu and I spend hours a day there. We were in a huge contest this morning that went on until about an hour ago.”
“What were you playing?”
“Last Battle. It was epic!”
“Think you can beat me at it?” Princess challenged.
“Oh, yeah. No sweat. I’ve studied all your moves,” Baron said.
“Why did you study all her moves?” I asked. “Sounds like some pretty serious research.”
“Ryu says a good warrior studies the moves of his enemy so he can see the weaknesses. It’s also so that when something surprises you, you can quickly identify that it is new and categorize it. You aren’t surprised by every move,” Baron said. He was talking like a general.
“So, you just play games here all the time?” Misty asked. “Baron hasn’t gone to school in the past year?”
“School. Ick!” Baron said succinctly.
“Perhaps so, but it is necessary,” Hakuryu said. “We have tutors who come nearly every day. I assure you I have not neglected young Baron’s education.”
“I guess we should talk about why we’re here,” I said. “We need to take Baron back to East Love for the succession celebration.”
“I don’t wanna go,” the boy said. I winced.
“I would miss him terribly if he left,” Hakuryu said. “Perhaps if I send some kind of gift to his parents, they will consent to let him stay.”
“I have to say that everything seems fine here, but there are other things to consider. If Baron does not appear, there will be a general election for a successor. The most likely candidate is Valentine Caesar. I assume you know him from having him bring Baron here,” I said.
“In fact, I chased him off and refused to have him visit again,” Hakuryu said. “A thoroughly disgusting young man.”
“At least our opinion of him matches. He’s been trying to stop us from getting here every step along the way. As if there weren’t enough natural dangers,” I said. “His grandfather has apparently been importing and strong-arming people in East Love and perhaps all over the Land to vote for Valentine as a replacement. If Valentine is elected as successor, he will sue for Princess Bridget Rex’s hand in marriage to cement the position. We really want to avoid that.”
“I’d have to wait a year before I could poison him and inherit the succession,” Princess said. “You should be glad you aren’t a girl, Baron. Nobody listens to what you want.”
“Nobody listens to me, either, except Ryu.”
“August Caesar is a wizard of some power,” Ryu said. “That’s the only reason I’ve kept Baron here. I didn’t think it was safe to send him home.”
“Maybe there’s a way to make everyone happy,” Misty volunteered. We all turned our attention to her as she fed some chicken from her plate to Shasta. “Baron, you have a place here with Hakuryu that you don’t want to leave. I don’t blame you at all. Mr. Hakuryu wants you to stay. Princess wants to be the successor to her father and rule all the Land. I’m all for that. She’ll make a wonderful Sovereign. But we have the problem of the interloper and the succession celebration, which could dash everyone’s dreams. Why don’t you come back to East Love for the celebration, then abdicate in favor of your sister? Then you can come back here with Mr. Hakuryu, if he really wants you. How does that sound?”
“I wouldn’t have to go back and live there forever? Ryu, could I really come back here?”
“I would be delighted to have you back, son. I believe Miss Misty has presented a plan that is acceptable to all of us. And I believe I can make it acceptable to your parents,” the old man said. “It is not uncommon for royalty to give a hostage as a sign of goodwill to powerful lords in the land. I will press ancient treaty rights. There are not many of my kind left in the Land, but we could create an enormous amount of trouble if upset.”
“Your kind?” I asked. I wondered if he meant Japanese.
“I am descended from the ancient dragon of Japan, Ryujin. The bloodline has been thinned through intermarriage over the years, but many peoples in the southern part of the Land of Victoriana owe their allegiance to me.”
“We actually are in the dragon’s lair,” I sighed. “I suppose you controlled our sleep this afternoon and had our clothes cleaned.”
“That was a liberty I took,” the dragon said. “I assure you, however, that none of you will age a hundred years in a night here in The Trove.”
“The association seems to be to our benefit and to the benefit of Baron and Princess. I’m pleased to not need to fight for his release,” I said.
“As to that, there might be a small problem,” Hakuryu said. I raised an eyebrow. “You see, once having arrived here in The Trove, you might find it difficult to leave. Since Valentine brought Baron to me, he has convinced a giant named Fum that I have family heirlooms that rightly belong to the giant. Fum has been harrying us for months, attempting to get into the mansion and lay waste to all around us.”
“And with all your power, you have been unable to get rid of him?”
“As many people do, you confuse wealth with power,” he answered. “Wealth seems not to interest Fum and I can identify nothing in my collections that might remotely belong to him or his family.”
“So, I’ve got to do battle with him before we can take Baron back to East Love. Great. Just great,” I moaned. I was really tired of fighting people or things or creatures. I’d been so relieved when I discovered I wouldn’t need to slay the dragon in order to take Baron. A giant didn’t sound fun either. But that wasn’t all.
“I’ll go on one condition,” Baron said.
“Wait a minute! I thought your condition was being able to come back,” I said. “What’s with new conditions?”
“Bridget thinks she can take me in Last Battle. We’ll play a match this afternoon while you’re waiting for Fum to show up. If she can beat me, I’ll go back home and abdicate in her favor. If she can’t beat me, she isn’t worthy of becoming sovereign. I’ll stay here and she can marry Valentine,” the boy declared.
That came right out of left field. I didn’t think it was a good idea for several reasons. First, he’d been practicing non-stop for nearly a year. I didn’t know how much practice Princess had over that time, but I felt like she’d be better off facing the giant. Second, if she lost, I’d end up having to fight the giant and the dragon in order to take the brat home. After all, that was my quest. And finally… I didn’t get to express my opinions.
“You’re on, twerp. I can beat you at Last Battle any time,” Princess declared. She stuck out her hand and Baron grabbed it to shake on the deal. I groaned, and dragged Princess with me out of the room.
“Do you realize what you’ve done?” I barked at her. “If you don’t beat him, you forfeit your chance at the throne. Not only that, but I still have to drag his ass with me, which means I’ll have to fight both the giant and the dragon. You make my job difficult and your goal impossible!”
“Don’t worry, Warrior Wizard. He said he’s been studying my play. That can work for him or against him. It would work for him if what he studied was still my play. It works against him when he realizes I’m not the same as the person he’s been studying,” Princess said.
“What do you mean?”
“I changed my online identity and avatar over a year ago without telling him. Besides, his focus is just on winning. My focus is on the prize. The prize doesn’t mean anything to him. It isn’t a motivator. There is nothing in his conditions that in any way helps him. All he wants to do is win and he doesn’t lose a thing if he loses.”
“I still don’t like it.”
“You just take care of the giant. I’ll take care of the brat.”
I don’t know if you’ve watched a multi-player RPG online or not. It’s boring! Nobody does anything but sit there and roll their dice and announce their moves. Mr. Hakuryu was the game master and I had no question that he would be fair. He seemed like a reasonable man… or dragon… and had nothing to gain by playing favorites. After an eternity that took at least an hour, I excused myself from the game room and went outside.
It was early evening and with mountains to the west of us, the sun was nearing the point at which it would disappear. It’s just never a good idea to leave me with nothing to do. I went to the Fairlane and grabbed my basketball and court shoes out of the hatch. I changed shoes and started to dribble. I already had my slingshot holstered on my belt. I wasn’t going to get my gun out of the car. There’s something different about drawing a bead and shooting a werewolf and drawing a bead and shooting a man—even if it is a giant man. I couldn’t help but think it was human. Probably a deadly weakness in my preparation to do battle.
I dribbled over and started shooting hoops. I still couldn’t figure out how the ball had become a flaming missile when I threw it at Valentine’s men, but just handled like a normal basketball when I started dribbling. I did my usual warmups, and then started popping baskets, doing dribbling drills, and shooting around the world. It felt good. Basketball season had ended over two months ago and all I did was run hurdles during track season.
As I dribbled toward the garage and basket, I was struck by the echo. It was like a bounce for every dribble I made, coming from behind me. I turned, and there he was. Oh, damn!
He had me in height by a good foot and some inches. Off hand, I’d say he was about seven-and-a-half feet tall. But that wasn’t the problem. If you’ve read any illustrated fairy tales with giants in them, you know they are huge ugly oafs. Some have two heads. They always have a beard and hair that’s black and sticks out in all directions. They have missing or rotted teeth and rags for clothes. And they’re dumb as a post. The very name Fum was reminiscent of the giant who went about yelling, “Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.” Even Hagrid was portrayed as being a simple burly giant of a man with a coarse black beard and hair, barrel-chested, and ham-fisted. He got along with animals better than with people.
Not so, the giant that was approaching, dribbling a basketball in counterpoint to mine. No. Better think Chris Hemsworth as Thor or Brad Pitt as Achilles or Kellan Lutz as Hercules. I was facing a blond god out of ancient mythology or off the pages of Marvel Comics. I was not prepared for this!
“So, you’re my nemesis,” he said. Oh, what rich lovely tones. His voice was as beautiful as he was. “Shall we get warmed up?” Warmed up? I’d started to warm up as soon as I saw him! I just nodded and he launched his ball at the hoop. Swish, of course. He cleared the ball and glanced at me as I took my shot from behind the three-point line and drained it. We each took shots and recovered our own basketball. We switched from long shots to layups, each watching the other’s skill and technique. I had a feeling that someplace along the line, we were going to go at each other, but it was just too nice to watch him to want to attack. In that way.
He was wearing a cut-off basketball jersey and a pair of shorts. When he jumped for a shot, the shirt rode up farther and showed off his unbelievable abs. They complemented his well-defined arms and muscular legs. Our shots came faster and faster. And then there was the dunk. He could practically reach over the rim of the basket standing flat-footed. A little hop and he slammed it home. Well, I had to jump a little harder, but I wasn’t going to be left behind. I took a step and dunked my own. He turned to me, tucked his ball under his arm, and applauded. God! The smile on his face was killer.
“One-on-one?” he asked. I nodded. “Are you really going to play in robes, Warrior Wizard?”
I must have looked ridiculous. I still had my cap and gown on with all my regalia. I had the sword of truth and the slingshot on my belt. My three cords and stole were around my neck. I grinned at him. Somehow, I didn’t feel exactly threatened, but I was really excited. I tossed my mortarboard in the open hatch of the car and unzipped my gown. I shrugged it off my shoulders and tossed it in the car as well. I got a lot more excited when he gave a low whistle.
Well, we practiced in sports bras and court shorts all the time. It wasn’t a basketball uniform, but it left us free to move and work up a sweat. And I could tell this was going to get sweaty.
Now, the rules of one-on-one. Offensive player stands outside the half-court line, which in this case was the edge of the paved court. Defensive player passes the ball to the offensive player and it’s game on. There’s a lot of dribbling in this game because if you stop dribbling, you have to shoot without traveling. So, you use every dribbling trick you can to get clear for your shot. Through the legs. Behind the back. Between your opponent’s legs. Any way you can confuse him before you break free for your shot. If you hit it, you have a point and continued possession of the ball. If you miss, sides change and you pass the ball to your opponent who is now on offense.
Adonis, as I’d come to think of him, passed me the ball and I started working it forward. That was a lot of man to try to get around. But it was obvious he was used to playing against opponents who tried to shoot over him or were as tall as he was. He didn’t crouch low, but stood to block the shot from wherever you took it. I think he was genuinely surprised when I dribbled around him and shot from under the basket. I wouldn’t get that easy a point again. He grinned at me and passed me the ball again. I was right. He stayed with me wherever I tried to move. When I finally shot, he jumped halfway across the court to block it before it reached the hoop.
His ball. He dribbled forward with a couple of feints and jumped for the shot. I think he was genuinely shocked to find he no longer had the ball in his hands. I was below his radar and as soon as he went for the shot, I grabbed the ball away and dribbled to the backcourt. My ball. Score still one to nothing.
And then it heated up. I’m sure what we were doing was more thrilling than what Baron and Princess were up to in the game room, but it’s still tedious to deliver a play-by-play. You really needed to be there, getting hotter and sweatier by the minute. And as we got more aggressive, we got into each other’s personal space a lot more. And before long, his shirt was lying by the garage door and we were sliding off each other as we went for our shots.
It was full dark before we even thought about slacking off. Mr. Hakuryu had lights that came on as the daylight failed. We dribbled, shot, blocked, recovered, and dribbled some more. I gradually became aware of his hand on me. That’s not unusual when you’re playing ball. Placing a hand lightly in contact with your opponent is one way of cluing in on which direction he or she is headed. It’s not considered a foul. A lot of offensive players back toward their opponent, keeping the ball in front of them and out of reach. So, the defense keeps a hand lightly on the waist or back of the offense. In one-on-one, that doesn’t really work. It puts the offensive player at a disadvantage when it comes to knowing where the defense is going.
So, he seemed to also have a hand on my shoulder or hip. It was like dancing. And I responded the same way. Was the hand meant to keep a distance between us or to draw us closer? I just knew that we were playing my favorite game and I really liked the way we played it.
He shook free and started the steps that would take him to a slam dunk. I don’t know what got into me, but I leapt as he leapt. I was going for the block, I thought. I grabbed the ball, but his momentum pulled me upward several inches as he jumped for the basket. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I still had my hands on the ball, but more importantly, my eyes met his. Then my lips met his. Then the basketball just fell to the ground and bounced away as our arms wrapped around each other.
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