A Place at the Table
6
Physician, Heal Thyself
Hana Ito
I HAD FUN teasing Meredith. She took her education seriously and her desire to work for—or under—Liam Cyning overflowed so much I was surprised she was classed as an Advisor instead of an Aspirant. But I suppose merely loving your chosen line of work is not the same as being called to it. If she’d not been chosen as Liam’s Personal Assistant, she would have been disappointed, but she would have found something else to do. For me, nothing could possibly replace my calling to become a healer—a doctor.
The cost to my personal life was high, but it didn’t make a difference to me. I’d had a few relationships. I was, after all, two years older than Meredith. But relationships ultimately got in the way of my studies or work at the hospital. As soon as that happened, I was single again.
We were up early on Saturday. The event wouldn’t start until eleven, but the core volunteers needed to be at the park by eight to get things set up. We had portable grills for the hot dogs we’d be serving. Games with courses to lay out. And areas for the different age groups of children who would be present. If a child in the hospital was mobile and deemed fit enough, he or she would be brought to the picnic with a nurse watching over them. But there would be dozens—we hoped over a hundred—of children who were not sick but just came for the festival and hopefully would make friends with the patients.
People started arriving at ten-thirty and there were a few moments of panic as we tried to get things started. I was to light one of the grills and get started. Unfortunately, it was quite uneven and I struggled trying to get it level so I could start the charcoal.
“May I help? We could put a small stone under the short leg,” a young man said, moving at once to his knees to lift the short leg and scrape some small stones under the leg. “How does that look?”
“Much better, thank you. I’m afraid I didn’t have the strength to lift it up. I don’t think the hot dogs will roll off the grill now.” I looked up into the young man’s gorgeous blue eyes and smiled. He wasn’t too tall, but I’m only five-one. I get nervous around giants of six foot or more. I expected him to say something to me.
“Well… um… I guess I’ll try to be useful somewhere,” he stammered. He looked away from my eyes and I was afraid he would flee.
“Why don’t you help with the grill here. Can you light the charcoal?” I asked.
“Oh. Yes, certainly. I’ll have it started in a few minutes,” he said.
“I’ll go get our plate of grillables. I’m Hana, by the way.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Miss Hana. I’m Liam.”
“We’ll be sweating over the grill together shortly. Please just call me Hana.” I turned to get the food out of the coolers while Liam showed some skill in getting the charcoal to light. Liam. It could only be Meredith’s Liam. I had a flash of jealousy. It was silly, but he was cute and terribly shy. I wondered how he had ever managed to be classed as a Leader. Well, I was ready to follow him.
In half an hour, the smell of grilling hot dogs and hamburgers rose from our grill as he worked, placing cold meat on the grill while I removed cooked meat to the picnic table. A small child ambled up to where he was grilling with her head turned up trying to smell the savory aroma. She couldn’t quite see over the edge of the grill. I gasped as I saw her reach to pull herself up on the grill.
Liam didn’t hesitate. He reached down and scooped the little girl up and safely back from the grill.
“Did you want to see what was grilling?” he asked. “I’ll show you. But it’s very hot. That’s why I hold a long-handled pair of tongs to turn the hot dogs over.” The little girl pointed at a hot dog. “Is that the one you want to eat?” he asked. “It’s almost ready. Hana, could you put this hot dog on a plate just for my little friend? What’s your name, precious?”
“Wendy.”
“Wendy, Hana is getting a paper plate. She’ll put your hot dog on it and carry it to the table so you can sit up and fix it the way you want. Just remember, the hot dog will be hot at first. Okay?”
“Okay.” He pointed at the hot dog she’d indicated to make sure he got the right one. She nodded and he put the food on the plate I was holding. She squirmed a little and Liam put her down, placing himself between the little girl and the grill. She immediately reached for my hand and I led her to the table where children were busily digging into their food.
Liam stood guard over the station as he doused the coals in a bucket of water and scrubbed the grill. He stayed there until he was sure the grill was no longer hot enough for a child to get burned. I saw him step away and the same little girl come over to meet him. It looked like he had a fan.
I saw Meredith across the park as she started toward him. We were both too far away to listen to the intense conversation they were having. Then Liam stood up and took hold of the little girl’s waist as she led him off yelling, “Choo choo!”
“Come get on board the train,” Liam called to nearby children. They began to flock toward him and he guided little Wendy around as more and more children attached themselves to the train. Meredith and a few other volunteers fell into line, encouraging the children to make train noises. Before long, nearly all the children were in line, nurses helping their charges move with the train while Liam and Wendy led them on a long follow-the-leader game. It was near the end of the party and I stepped up beside Liam and asked him to lead the train to the station so the parents could take their children from it. He pointed to the bandstand and I hurried to tell parents where to pick up their children.
The nurses broke off with their charges to return to the hospital. Parents took mini trains to the parking lot where they said goodbye to their friends. I maneuvered Liam out of the way a bit.
“Thank you so much for your help today, Liam. You really stepped in to save the day. That was probably the easiest conclusion to a festival imaginable.”
“It was really fun,” Liam said. “I’m glad I got to help.” We’d had several minutes to chat while grilling and transporting food and it seemed like he was more comfortable as the party ended.
“Excuse me for being forward, but this would be a good time to ask me out next weekend,” I said. I knew it was brazen. He stammered a bit.
“Really? I mean. Of course. I mean. Um… Hana, would you like to go out next weekend? Maybe Saturday night?” he asked.
“How nice of you to ask. I’d love to go out and get to know you better. Let me give you my phone number and you can call to make arrangements.” I’d already written my name and number on a paper napkin and pressed it into his hand.
“I’ll look forward to it and call tomorrow.”
“Not before ten. I have a night shift tonight and will sleep late.”
He smiled and I saw Meredith headed for us again. I winked at her and left. I saw them in a conversation as animated as the one Liam had had with little Wendy.
My phone rang after ten on Tuesday morning and Liam sounded like he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say.
“Miss Ito… uh… Hana, I have tickets for the symphony Saturday evening. Would you be my guest for the concert and dessert after?” he asked. Very charming.
“I hope this is Liam Cyning calling,” I said innocently.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. Yes. This is Liam Cyning. I hope you remember our conversation Saturday afternoon.”
“Yes, I remember,” I giggled. “I’d be delighted to go to the symphony Saturday. I love classical music and I understand they are doing Berlioz Symphonie Fantastique. It’s one of my favorites.”
“I’m so glad I found tickets then. Shall I pick you up at seven?”
“Do you know where I live?”
“Um… not yet. My driver could pick you up though if you let me know.”
“Oh, a driver.”
“Yes. I’ve never had a reason to have a license before. I should think about that.”
I’d been prepared to tell him I couldn’t go out after all. He was cute, but in a teenager sort of way and Meredith had fumed a bit after his call on Sunday. Not that she would say anything, but I could just tell she wasn’t happy. He said he would work out arrangements for something based on a few suggestions I gave him. Then when he called on Tuesday and suggested the symphony, what could I do?
I had a huge amount of studying to do and continued night shifts through Thursday, but I had the weekend off. Until Sunday night. I got straight to work.
It was Friday before I saw Meredith again. I got back from the library and she had just returned from her alternate residence at Buxton House. I opened a bottle of wine and poured us each a glass.
“How was your week with the new job?” I asked cheerily. She growled at me.
“As if you haven’t talked to him as much as I have.”
“Meredith, that’s not true. We’ve only spoken a couple of times. I was going to turn him down for the date, but then he suggested the symphony and I crumpled. You know how I love the symphony.”
“Oh, yes. Who do you think suggested it and got the tickets and made reservations at Chez Panisse for you?” she groused.
“Meredith! I’m so sorry. He had you make all the arrangements?”
“I’m his personal assistant. And, no. He didn’t ask me to make the arrangements. He wanted to sit down first thing Monday morning and talk. Well, first thing when I got there. I didn’t attempt to get there for breakfast like when I’m staying there.”
“What happened?”
“He was a nervous wreck. Hana, he’s only ever been out on one date. He’s eighteen and has had only one date! And from what he told me, it was unremarkable and she declined his invitation to go out a second time. It’s really quite amazing that he got up the nerve to talk to you Saturday.”
“He was so helpful! And the way he rescued little Wendy when she was about to put her hand on the grill and just took over cooking. And then when he led the children all around as a train. Everyone just jumped aboard. It was quite amazing. I guess I was a little infatuated from the start,” I admitted.
“He quite surprised me, as well. I hadn’t even spotted him arrive and all of a sudden, he was with you manning a grill. I had children at the tether ball and never got away to even ask how he was getting on,” Meredith said.
“So, what did you talk about Monday?”
“He had a regular confessional. Told me about his lack of confidence in speaking with women and his disastrous first date. Which apparently was a well-chaperoned dance, but he couldn’t find anything to talk about. You may need to carry the conversation tomorrow night. Then he was in a panic about what to do on a date. I finally suggested the symphony and dessert. You wouldn’t believe how relieved he was. He was going to call you at once, but I suggested he make sure tickets were available. Of course, I was the one who made the call, reserved the table, worked out the timetable with him.”
“Well, I can only say thank you. I’m sure nothing will come of this, either. You know my luck with men. As soon as they find out I work eighty hours a week at the hospital or in classes or studying, they realize I don’t really have time for them.”
“Perhaps one day you’ll find another Aspirant who considers his calling to be taking care of you.”
“Oh, my! Wouldn’t that be something?”
“Then guess what happened Wednesday morning?” Meredith giggled, in full gossip mode.
“What?”
“He asked me to take him to get a driving permit and teach him how to drive. He said he’d only just realized what an imposition it was for him to not be able to fend for himself on a date. For a minute, I thought he was going to ask me to chauffeur him tomorrow evening. But Erich will be the driver.” Meredith sighed and took a drink of her wine.
“Why didn’t he ask Erich to teach him to drive?”
“It’s one of those quirky little things. He explained that part of Erich’s job was to drive him and he didn’t want to make him feel that Liam was dissatisfied or was trying to push him out. He also explained that while I might need to drive him somewhere at some time, chauffeuring him was not part of my job and he would feel it was a huge imposition on me. It was really quite touching.”
“Meredith, do you want me to not go out with him?”
“I’m not his girlfriend, Hana. Have fun.”
I answered the knock at my door to find Liam ready to pick me up. He looked quite handsome in a charcoal pinstripe suit.
“Good evening, Miss Ito.”
“Please. Let’s not get started with Mr. and Miss. Call me Hana like you did at the park.”
“Yes, Hana. May I escort you to the car?”
“I can’t think how else I would get there.” I laughed and locked the door, then took Liam’s offered arm. His driver held the door open, I got in and fastened the seatbelt. Liam ran to the other door. I wasn’t sure if I should have slid over next to him but that seemed a bit forward. The position wasn’t conducive to talking much, though.
“Um… Miss… Hana, I mean. I’m afraid I’m not very used to this. I completely forgot to give you this small gift of truffles. I was… um… overcome with how stunning you look. I’m sorry I did not comment on that immediately.”
“Oh! Chocolate. You know the way to a woman’s heart.” I ignored his comment about my looks but I was pleased. I did get dressed up. I wore a sleeveless black dress with a strand of pearls—simple and elegant.
At the theater, he quickly jumped out of the car to run to the passenger side and give me his hand as I stepped out. A perfect gentleman. I took his offered arm and we went into the theater.
An usher guided us to the center section, six rows from the stage. Wow!
“Oh, these are very nice seats, Liam. I love the pieces they’re performing tonight. Berlioz is one of my favorite composers and Symphonie Fantastique is my favorite of his works.” I was going to continue by telling him Berlioz was seriously on drugs when he wrote the piece, but the conductor arrived on stage and the audience applauded. We’d talk at intermission.
Unfortunately, the lines for the restrooms were long and we barely made it back to our seats before the orchestra launched into Paganini’s Violin Concerto No. 1 in E-flat major.
“What a fantastic concert!” I said, taking Liam’s arm as we walked across the street to Chez Panisse. “Berlioz was wonderful and the pianist for the Mendelssohn was beautiful. But do you know how rare it is to hear the Paganini played in the original E-flat? Nearly all modern performances are in the later D-major version.”
“What is the difference? Why would they step down a half step?”
“E-flat is an extremely difficult key to play on strings. So, what Paganini did was brilliant. He didn’t want his soloist overwhelmed by the strings in the orchestra so he wrote the soloist part in D-major with scordatura tuning. That meant the soloist’s violin was tuned half a step sharp so she could play the dominant note on the open D-string. The rest of the orchestra, playing in E-flat, was more muted because the strings could not play on an open string. Brilliant!”
“Do you play?”
“Liam, have you ever met an Asian who didn’t play either violin or piano? It is part of our upbringing. No matter what class or what occupation, we take years of piano or violin lessons. Playing the piano, as I do, is simply part of my daily routine.”
“I had no idea. I’ve a friend who plays violin. He’s French.”
“Well, Asians don’t have a corner on the instrument. Most of the music we learn is from Western Europe.”
Liam gave his name to the host at Chez Panisse and we were led immediately to a table where he held my chair for me. The waiter took our order for coffee and soon a French press was steeping on the table between us. Bittersweet chocolate and caramel profiteroles were delivered just as the waiter pushed the plunger down on the press and poured our coffee. It was well-orchestrated.
“Not that I would have chosen differently, but did we order this?” I was puzzled by the puff pastry.
“I’m so sorry. When we ordered coffee and dessert, they automatically brought this. I didn’t know what was on the menu tonight. This restaurant only fixes one dessert each night,” he explained.
“You are giving me a wonderful new experience tonight. Thank you.”
“I’ve delighted in your company. I’m afraid I am not very experienced in the world of dating. I’m constantly unsure of what I am doing.”
“I’m afraid my schedule is such that it doesn’t allow for much dating, either.”
“Tell me about your calling,” he asked. Well, he knew I was an Aspirant. It was nice that he was interested. And he was easy to talk to.
“It’s not like I’m mystical or spiritual. I dabbled in all the things children do. Séance, Ouija Board, Sunday School, Yoga. They didn’t really do anything for me. I wanted to live life to the fullest—experience everything,” I said.
“I can appreciate that.”
“It was all great until the day Deborah almost died,” I continued. “She tried to copy a back flip I did and fell short of the full revolution. I was horrified to see her lying there on the pavement. I yelled for someone to get an ambulance and then knelt beside her. She was still breathing and had a pulse. I just wanted to straighten her broken body. Deborah opened her eyes.
“‘Owww! It hurts!’ she cried.
“I knew better than to move her but I asked her to take a deep breath, which hurt, of course. I guessed it was probably a broken rib. I set about removing her skates and checking to see if her toes moved.
“‘My neck hurts,’ she complained.
“This is where the story gets strange. I closed my eyes and laid my hands on Deborah. I focused all my energy and poured it into her. Heal. I send you all the healing energy you need. Heal and get up and walk, I prayed. Of course, nothing happened. People don’t get healed that way. People get healed because they go to doctors and doctors set the bones, operate on bad parts, and prescribe medicine. I knew right then, I needed to become a doctor.
“It was like turning on a light in my life. It was crystal clear. I need to become a doctor. I need to heal people.”
“I’m in awe, Hana. I truly find Aspirants to be an inspiration. I don’t feel that kind of intense calling to any one thing,” he said.
“Yes, but you are a natural Leader. The way you captured the children Saturday just showed how quickly people will follow you. I have my own bit of envy,” I laughed.
When we left the restaurant, I let my hand slide down his arm to his hand. His driver opened the door for me and I slid in, but didn’t let go of his hand, pulling him into the car after me so we sat closer together.
“Coming down from a beautiful evening like this always makes me feel cozy. Thank you again for a wonderful evening.”
“Shall we plan something for next weekend?” he asked. He was so sweet.
“I can’t. I’ll be at the hospital on weekend shifts for the next two weeks. I’m sorry, Liam. I’m a very difficult person to date. I’d love to carve out some time for another date, but I’m afraid it won’t be soon. The hospital is very important to me. If I can finish my med school by the end of winter, I will be able to start full time at the hospital. Won’t that be wonderful?” I suppose my enthusiasm was lost on him. Perhaps we would manage another date sometime.
“Truly wonderful.”
The car pulled up in front of the dormitory and Liam walked me to my door. I saw him come toward me to kiss my cheek and couldn’t help myself. I pulled his lips to mine and lost myself in a real kiss. He was startled, but he certainly responded readily. We were both breathless. I needed to move inside quickly before I lost control completely.
“Goodnight, Liam.” I opened the door and went inside, seeing Meredith, sitting at her desk in her pajamas. I quickly shut the door. And I forgot the box of truffles! Darn it!
“I thought you were going out this evening,” I exclaimed.
“Yes. I did. Rich called and we went to a movie but the guy is an octopus. I finally left the movie and told him to take me home and not to call me again. I hope Liam was more gentlemanly.”
“He was… I kissed him. I didn’t mean to, but I did it. I’m sorry.” I felt so guilty. I might not have felt so bad if I’d had time to settle down before I saw Meredith. She was quiet and looking at a paper she’d written. “Meredith. Please. You know I’m not going to see him anytime soon again. It was a spur of the moment thing and I sort of lost control.”
“It’s okay, Hana. It’s silly of me to be jealous. It was only yesterday that we agreed to use each other’s first name. I just wish he hadn’t seen me sitting here in my pajamas. I’ll die of embarrassment Monday.”
“You know, just from the look on his face, I think he may be more embarrassed than you.”
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