A Place at the Table
13 School Dazed
Liam
I MOPED AROUND a bit Friday evening. Meredith fairly ran from me. I supposed I might be feeling how Hana felt when I left her abruptly last weekend after a lovely kiss. It simply left me wanting more. I needed to get control of my feelings and not become fixated on Meredith. She’d warned me, but then she’d also been a willing participant. Girls were very confusing.
I hadn’t finished painting my room. The bookcases had been emptied and Erich helped me move them away from the wall where the door between my study and Meredith’s had been hidden all these years. I needed some physical labor to take my mind off things, so I checked with Herman, our caretaker, and he helped me gather paint and gear from the work shed. He offered to help me with my task, but I felt I’d already kept him too long on a Friday and encouraged him to go on about his weekend. This was a project I could do. I could repaint my study.
The mindless repetition of painting helped to calm me and free my mind from dwelling on a possible relationship with Meredith. I needed to pack my school things and be ready to move to the dormitory Sunday afternoon. Grandmother had already announced a family dinner for before Erich drove me to Elenchus.
I cleaned my paintbrushes and rolled the tarp before showering and heading for a peaceful night of sleep.
There was never enough time once a deadline was set. My project stretched on through Saturday as I decided the entire room needed a fresh coat of paint. Erich came in to help me paint the trim in the room and move the bookcases into their new locations. By then it took both of us to get suitable clothing, books, supplies, athletic gear, and my attitude packed for school. After a very pleasant meal with my parents and grandmother, he took me to Elenchus and helped move my things into the dormitory apartment I shared with Lonnie. There was already a party going on down the hall and the boisterous return to the hallowed halls of academia was more like a soccer match.
“So, are you doing Meredith yet?” Lonnie asked as soon as we were alone in the room.
“Geez, man! What kind of question is that? You know Meredith is my employee. I can’t just start doing her. And that’s a gross suggestion.” Sometimes Lonnie was a little hard to deal with. Nonetheless, he was my best friend and we’d been roommates for eight years.
“I looked it up. There’s nothing wrong with having a relationship with an employee as long as it is clear her employment is not dependent on it. You could transfer her and have her report to your grandmother to take care of you and then you’d be out of her chain of command. Everything would be fine.”
“No. What makes you think we’d have that kind of relationship?” I asked.
“My friend, were you so oblivious during your party a few weeks ago? You might not have intended it, but by the time we were roasting marshmallows, it was a couples’ party. You’d done quite an effective job of pairing everyone up. I wasn’t a problem, of course, because I had both hands full of Susan. And believe me, those are nice handfuls. You introduced Hana and Donnie and neither of them saw anyone else all afternoon. Karen was so upset that you wouldn’t pay attention to her that she practically seduced Roald right by the pool. I brought Rosemary to the party specifically because Meredith said she wanted you to meet more girls and she ended up all over Remy. Of course, Richard and Peggy Anne have had a little thing for each other since primary school. Wonder how that will go now that he’s back at the academy. My point is that everyone was paired up and you spent the day with Meredith. She was the only woman there you were interested in.”
“Not true!” I defended myself. “I took Hana out the very next weekend. And I can’t help it if I’m uninterested in girls as young as you go for. The rest of us were just re-establishing old friendships. That’s what the day was about.”
“Okay. I rest my case. If you can’t see the look in Meredith’s eyes when she sees you, you’ll be old and gray and still wondering what happened.” We finished our unpacking while talking about the new soccer season and who would be ready to move up and take our places as we matriculated to the University.
“Who wins?” Mr. Boyer strode around the class positing various scenarios in interpersonal relationships. “We have two people who each think they’ve been wronged. They have a confrontation. Who wins?”
“Doesn’t that depend on the definition of winning?” Roald Adams was a good friend and I was glad we were sharing this class. I could see him preparing to debate and shuffled through some of my notes. “I mean, is it getting the other person to apologize? Is it correcting some behavior? Is it replacing a precious object? We can’t really tell who wins until we know how each defines winning. Right now, you’ve set it up so that neither will win no matter what the outcome.”
“That’s just the point, though, isn’t it? In a situation like this, the optimum solution is that both win, not that both lose. You can’t win an argument, even if you defeat your opponent.” I loved getting into it with Roald.
“You both have excellent points. Roald has indicated an important piece of the puzzle. What constitutes winning for each of them? No peace can be negotiated unless both walk away feeling like they’ve won, as Liam has suggested.”
“Then how do we get to the point of discovering what winning means for each? Do people really go about finding what the other person wants or needs before they have a confrontation? I’d question whether either even know their own definition of winning.” I was puzzled regarding how people ever succeed in relationships. I didn’t even know what I wanted myself. Lonnie’s insistence that Meredith and I were a couple was absurd. Wasn’t it?
The discussion continued for more than an hour, the class periods being somewhat less defined at Elenchus than other schools, I was told. Students arriving for the next class simply sat in the back or stood against a wall to observe the debate. Even a couple of faculty members, including Mr. Peoples, with whom I had my next class, arrived and watched.
“Do we actually have two different scenarios here? If Roald and I have a falling out, we should both be aware enough of this dynamic to find out what the other really wants and then work together to resolve our difference. But if either or both of us do not have the tools or education to get to that point, we are automatically in a lose-lose situation. Is that what we’re ultimately coming down to?” I saw Roald nodding. Somehow, the two of us never had difficulty reaching a consensus. Mr. Boyer stopped in mid-stride as he paced the room and turned to stare directly at me.
“That is where you come in. You have the education. You have the skills. You need to practice this over and over so attempting to find what a person’s win is and how you can effectively give him that without another losing becomes an automatic response, even if that person does not have the education or tools to discover it himself. And you need to be available for those who cannot find a resolution to help them through to it, even if you are not personally involved in the conflict. I think we’ve carried on enough for today. Let’s get everyone to his next class and we’ll deal with another dilemma tomorrow.” Mr. Boyer motioned to us to leave and the boys who had entered took their seats. I was lost in thought. Mr. Peoples interrupted me and suggested we walk to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee and a ‘chat,’ which was his code for the next lesson.
“Tell me more about your employment experience,” Peoples said when we had coffee and sat in a corner of the dining room.
“Um… I’m not sure how much I can divulge without slipping into proprietary company information,” I said. “It was a good experience, though sometimes shocking and emotionally draining.”
“I detected that key events were redacted from your report. Without describing events, tell me about the emotions that you experienced while fulfilling your responsibilities.” I figured that was a pretty safe area, so I collected my thoughts and tried to put them in words.
“I guess the first day was a mix of excitement and frustration. I was unhappy that I wasn’t working with my new assistant. I hardly knew what we were doing yet. So, I guess I was relieved at the same time. The excitement was because I was facing a new challenge. In fact, everything seemed to be a new challenge that month. Working with Meredith, analyzing operations at the factory, exploring what it means to be a Leader. And there was apprehension. I didn’t want to fail my father and mother. With limited guidance around what I was to accomplish, I wasn’t sure I knew what a standard of success was.”
“Enthusiasm makes any number of other emotions seem less important. Your report certainly exposes your enthusiasm.”
“I think that came partly from discovering Meredith and I actually had a project to work on together and it finally made sense to have an assistant. I remember feeling a sense of awe about the whole mechanics of the organization. Everyone had a part to play and missing any of those pieces would affect the performance of the whole. I think the impression of efficiency and performance is what made it so hard to discover the piece that was out of place. It wasn’t obstructing the process, but it wasn’t contributing to it, either.”
“How did you feel when you finally discovered the problem.”
“Wow! What a mixture. Of course, there was the elation of having made the discovery but it came with a sense of betrayal. The company came into the family from my grandfather, who founded it. My parents were never that enthused about the arms foundry because their other businesses are clothing and food related. But it was a family business and they didn’t want to just dissolve it and lose that legacy. Someone in the company had betrayed them all, including my grandfather and, by extension, me. That made me angry. I went for a long horseback ride with Meredith and talked it out so I could see the various possible permutations and pathways through the company the problem could have taken. She encouraged me to also look at what long-term damaging effects it could have.”
“I see. You weren’t concerned about the stock value?” Peoples asked.
“Hmm. That didn’t really cross my mind until I was doing the analysis afterward. I suppose that if my father had started me off with a concern about profit instead of one of a vague unease, I would have seen that as a more prominent issue. As it was, I didn’t experience a concern for profit or even legality until I’d discovered the nature of the problem. Then I felt despair and sadness. I was glad I didn’t have to make the decisions regarding a path forward.”
“This should show you a certain short-sightedness in your approach. You let the way the problem was described to you influence how you searched for a solution and perhaps even what you discovered. When you approach a problem like this, it may be helpful to describe alternate problems before you start looking for resolution. It’s not unheard of, for example, for a small problem that can be easily discovered to hide the existence of a much larger problem. As you discovered in your debate with Roald this morning, in order to successfully negotiate resolutions to conflict, you need to discover what ‘winning’ really means. If you could give both parties everything they said they wanted, and one was still unhappy, what would you have missed?”
“That’s a tough question and one I’ll need to talk to Meredith about. I find that talking my way through things with her helps me clarify my direction.”
“You get along well with your assistant?”
“Yes. Better than I thought we would. We haven’t always had a cooperative relationship. But I value her insights and intelligence. She’s really cool. We can work side-by-side on a serious project one moment and switch gears to planning a party the next. And she’s fun to be around. Just lying on the grass for a picnic and talking is a high point of my life. And when… um… I mean… she…” I was suddenly at a loss for words. I’d nearly said ‘when we kiss,’ but those were isolated instances and not a basis of our relationship. Still, I wouldn’t mind kissing her some more.
“A key element in having a successful relationship with your assistant is developing trust and not taking it for granted. In order to facilitate that, you should be aware of the same things you are aware of when investigating a problem at a company. Are there underlying problems that might be hiding a larger one? You may well develop a deeper relationship with your assistant than with your wife.”
Wife?
Meredith
SCHOOL WAS HECTIC from the start. I was used to the relaxed environment of Green Hill Women’s College. The University was far more intense. Of course, there were many more students, a wider area to cover in going to class, and classes with a hundred or more students in a lecture hall. I had orientation sessions to attend in addition to classes and was one of the older students in those sessions. It was more typical to begin college between eighteen and nineteen years old but I was a transfer student with two years completed and only a few credits needed for my baccalaureate. I could only imagine how confusing it would be for Liam when he began at mid-term. From our conversations, I detected Elenchus was not much different than Green Hill.
My dormitory room, once a quiet retreat where I could study and focus, was a horror. Hana and I had enjoyed separate bedrooms with a common area between us in our dormitory apartment. The room I was given at the University was scarcely bigger than my former bedroom and included two beds, two desks, two wardrobes, and shared a bath down the hall with a dozen other double rooms. I thought of my luxurious quarters at Buxton House and nearly wept.
Neither Liam nor I had time to spend the next weekend at Buxton House. It looked like we might not get back there for the month. We did meet for lunch on Saturday, but mostly we both described what getting back to school was like and how overwhelmed we were with classes and how exhausted we were from studying. Of course, Liam also had soccer practice and any free time was spent working with his team. Liam and Lonnie were ‘senior members’ of the team and were not eligible to play this year, but they worked with the younger boys every day.
We finished our lunch and went back to our job or studies. My focus for the afternoon included running to various real estate and rental agencies to pick up brochures and fliers on properties for rent or sale. Just returning to my dorm room was motivation to begin studying where and how to get living quarters as soon as possible.
I spent some time daydreaming over the next week. I’d come to believe our rooms at Buxton House were perfect, but part of that was having meals served to us and someone coming to our rooms to clean and tidy things. We had a swimming pool, horses, tennis courts—all things we would not have in a new home. I even imagined myself cooking and cleaning for us as part of my duties and recoiled from the image in horror. As a personal assistant, I had a great many responsibilities but cooking and cleaning were not among them! I would not become Liam’s maid and cook, even if we were to marry.
Where had that come from? I was certainly not hired to become his wife. Liam was a nice boy, sort of handsome, kind, wealthy, and… And absolutely too young to even consider as a possible mate. I needed to introduce him to some other girls as soon as I could arrange to do so.
Still…
After two weeks of further study and being immersed in school, I still hadn’t made much progress in my search for housing. I determined I had to make appointments to see something or I would never succeed. I made several calls on properties I had seen advertised when I began this search, only to find they were already let. Others said to simply give them my requirements and they would ‘find something.’ Eventually, I spent another Saturday going from place to place.
My first appointment was with an apartment rental agent who looked the requirements page over carefully. Liam and I had spent our Saturday luncheon the previous week drafting a list. I had typed it up and sent it to a few agencies, of which three had called me.
“You are requesting two apartments. One large and one small. That is unusual,” the agent said.
“My needs are unusual. I assure you, both will be occupied.”
“I see. Near the university.”
“Preferably walking distance. Students, you know.”
“We seldom rent to students. I thought we were talking about an older couple. Students generally have no discipline, make a mess of things, throw loud parties, and are unreliable about their payments.”
“These would not be your usual college students.” I remained calm but could tell already I would not be interested in anything this agent showed me. She was quite condescending.
“Miss Sauvage, let me be blunt. We are not in the habit of renting to a man and his mistress or a woman and her kept man. I am not claiming that you are on either end of that spectrum but, based on your information, I’m afraid there are too many red flags here to consider renting to you.” The agent stood to conduct me to the door. I pulled a card from my purse. Mrs. Cyning’s assistant, Isobel, had kindly provided professionally printed business cards for me, a task I felt I should have done myself.
“I can find my own way out, thank you. Should you suddenly find a change in your company policy, please call me. I daresay there are other properties I can find, though, so don’t go to any special pains.” I handed her the card and hurried out the door. I was in my car when I saw the office door fly open. I pretended not to notice and drove away.
That had not gone as I hoped. I hadn’t wanted to use the Cyning name to open doors. This agent would be leaving me messages about over-priced rental properties by the time I got back to campus, I was sure. I had little hope of finding an apartment anyway. Regina told me to consider looking for property the family could purchase. I had to prove to myself the old woman was right.
I parked my car back on campus and made my way to fraternity row. I steeled myself for the notorious way frats were reputed to treat women on campus. But joining a fraternity was definitely an option for Liam and my dormitory was only two blocks away. I didn’t relish the idea of staying in a dorm room long term, but if the fraternity had a good reputation and space, I would do what was best for Liam.
“Miss? Excuse my surprise. We don’t often get single ladies calling on our house—especially in the middle of the day.”
“I’m sure most call in the evening or late at night. I am looking for a suitable fraternity for a friend transferring in at mid-term. He’s eighteen and could use a reliable big brother environment—for which your fraternity is known.”
“Oh. We have a few problems there. First, we don’t automatically invite every pledge to join our fraternity. Second, first year brothers are advised to live in the dormitory and await available space in the frat house. Eighteen is the minimum age we allow students to pledge, but it is a rigorous pledge process. You are over eighteen, are you not? Would you like to come in for a personal tour of our house? I will gladly show you what we have to offer.”
“I see no sense in that since my friend would be ineligible. Perhaps you would be kind enough to call my office if you think of a good place to refer him.” I handed the surprised boy my card and moved immediately up the street. The scenario was repeated at three additional frat houses. I didn’t stop at every one but felt four scattered through the district would get a buzz going. It might even reach the sororities. I giggled at the thought of what knowing the Cyning heir was coming to the University might inspire among the sororities. In one way or another, I had been propositioned at each frat house I visited.
I went to the library to see if other Leaders had attended the University and whether any of them had joined fraternities. While the classes were equal, institutions of higher education tended to take great pride in educating Leaders or Commanders on one hand and Inquirers or Creators on another. Schools were simply known for the kind of people they attracted and tended to use their alumni to attract more of the same.
The fraternity situation looked bleak, but at least I had options to share with Liam should he decide to accept a party invitation.
Liam and I decided it was too nice a day the next Saturday to spend in our dorm rooms studying. I picked him up about ten and we headed to Buxton House for the weekend. When she found we were planning the weekend, Mrs. Cyning immediately asked us to play tennis in the afternoon and have dinner in the evening with her. We quickly agreed.
When I appeared dressed for tennis, Liam stopped and stared at me.
“Is there something wrong with the way I’m dressed?” I’d played tennis in this outfit before. It was a sleeveless white blouse and a short white skirt over my tennis shorts. I wore white socks and freshly whitened tennis shoes. Liam was dressed in white with shorts and a knit shirt.
“You’re just… so beautiful. I… Your… legs… You will make it difficult for me to focus on the game.” My face heated.
“You’re too kind, Liam. Haven’t you looked enough?” Belying my comment, I suppose, I posed like a fashion model in the hallway. We laughed and I couldn’t believe my brazen display. We quickly walked to the tennis court and I was amused to see Regina dressed almost exactly like I was.
“Hello, Grandmother. Erich. You remember Meredith, do you not?” Liam led me onto the court where the older players had been warming up.
“How could one ever forget? It’s only been a month! How are you, Meredith? I’m so glad you could indulge this old woman’s whim for a rousing game today.”
“It is my pleasure, Mrs. Cyning. I hope you will forgive me for my lack of skill. I’m afraid I don’t play often.”
“Nonsense! Do you see the fifth window from the left on the second floor of the house?” Liam’s grandmother pointed back at the house. I nodded. “That is the window in my sitting room. I have a perfectly clear view of the sports court and have watched you and Liam play twice this summer. I hope you weren’t planning to let me win. Erich, prepare for a contest!”
We lined up on opposite sides of the net and began a warmup volley. Soon the game was underway and there was no time to consider ‘letting them win.’ We split two sets and decided that was enough. We walked toward the house together as we caught our breath.
“You would not have won that last point if Lonnie had been playing instead of me. He’s twice the competitor I am.” Liam was laughing at having muffed the last shot.
“Pfft. If Lonnie had been playing, he’d have missed the shot just to make sure I won. He works hard at ingratiating himself with people he thinks will further his ambition. There is no need for either of you to behave in such a way. But let’s not bog ourselves down with replaying the match. Meredith, I trust you have come prepared to spend the night. I had Lupe refresh your room. Let’s plan on dinner in my suite at seven. You two can occupy yourselves until then, no doubt.”
“We have a lot of catching up to do, Grandmother. We’ve not had much time to get together since school started.” I squeezed his arm and only then noticed I had taken it as we walked. I noted that Erich had offered his arm to Regina, so I didn’t feel awkward.
We went to our rooms to clean up and promised to meet in the lounge before dinner.
When I had showered and dressed, I went into my office and saw the flashing light on the answering machine. If there was anything important, I would need to figure out a way to collect messages during times away from Buxton House. I sat at my desk with a pad of paper and a pen to listen to the messages. After the first two, I started laughing. By the third, I was in hysterics. I opened the door between our studies and rapped lightly. A moment later, Liam opened the door. He’d also showered and shaved and smelled quite nice.
“Meredith! I was sitting in my office trying to decide if I dared knock and disturb you. Is everything all right?”
“Yes, Liam. But please come in and listen to the messages I’ve received this week after going out looking for an apartment last weekend. They are too precious not to be shared,” I laughed. I realized how forward it had been of me to knock on Liam’s door and began to stutter. “I’m sorry for disturbing you. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t stop to think that I might be interrupting your studies.”
“Meredith, please, knock any time. Do you know this is the first time we’ve opened that door since I cleared away my books and repainted the room? Look! Don’t you think it is nice?” I dared to peek through the open door at his private quarters. He had books open on his desk, but the room was tidy and looked comfortable. I backed into my own study and Liam followed, leaving the door behind him open. “Really,” he whispered. “I hope we will be working together for many years. You don’t need to be afraid to knock on my door. It’s not improper and I promise not to be ungentlemanly.”
“Thank you. It is a very nice room. Uh… Please, listen to this first message from an apartment rental agent who was downright rude when I met her.”
“Why ever would she leave a message?”
“I left her my card.” I handed one of my cards to Liam. I didn’t think he’d seen them. It was quite lovely with the Buxton House crest in one corner and raised type that boldly declared, ‘Miss Meredith Sauvage, Personal Assistant to Mr. Liam Cyning of Buxton House.’ It included the phone number.
“Oh, my! What did she have to say?” I pressed the button to begin the playback again.
“Miss Sauvage, it was so nice to meet you in our office this afternoon. I felt terrible that we had nothing in our inventory that was suitable for your purposes. I made several discreet inquiries, however, and have found a property I believe would be perfect. It is a penthouse apartment in the Excelsior complex, which I’m sure you know is only minutes from the University while still having the kind of upscale environment your employer would be interested in. The penthouse has twelve rooms, including a lovely staff wing that would be suitable for your needs. It could accommodate not only a personal assistant but also a valet, cook and maid. I would be delighted to show you this stylish new property. Please call at your earliest convenience to arrange an appointment. As I’m sure you are aware, an exclusive property like this will not be on the market for long. Good day.”
“My word! A twelve-room apartment with room for all my staff? How could we miss?” Liam laughed. “She must think I’m eighty years old!”
“She thinks you are rich. That makes a great deal of difference to her. She was unwilling to rent to you and your ‘mistress’ as she said, or to me and my kept man, but for a price she was able to find a prestigious address where you can live with all your mistresses!”
“Oh, Meredith!” Liam looked truly shocked. “We’ve put you in a terrible position. To have your honor questioned! I’m so sorry. I’ll take over the search for an apartment myself!”
“Liam! It’s not as bad as you make it out to be. I could have presented my card as soon as I met the woman but I don’t want to be presented with penthouse apartments simply because your name is recognizable. There are times to cast your name about and times when it should stay concealed.”
“Like when I went by William Thomas this summer at the factory,” Liam mused. “I see the sense, but it offends me deeply to have your character disparaged when simply carrying out a work assignment. Perhaps we could get another business card that is somewhat less forward in presenting who you work for.”
“I think this will work well enough,” I said. “Wait until you hear the next message.” I advanced to the next message and pressed the ‘play’ button.
“Miss Sauvage, this is Daniel Trimble, president of Tau Epsilon Alpha Fraternity on the University campus where you recently visited. I believe my fraternity brother, Samuel Davis, to whom you spoke, may have overstated our society’s position on not accepting applicants until they have been at the school for a year and pledged our fraternity. In fact, there have been many exceptions to that guideline. We would like to invite you and Mr. Cyning to tour our house and let us show you the true hospitality that Taus are known for. If you would call me directly, at this number, perhaps we can arrange dinner. Please give my best and heartiest welcome to Mr. Cyning.”
“Do you suppose the invitation to dinner was for both of us, or only for you?” Liam asked. “It would be embarrassing for both of us to show up if he was really only interested in you.”
“Oh, I assure you, brother Samuel Davis was very interested in arranging a private showing for me. I wasn’t sure of what,” I laughed. “This next one, though, we, or you, might consider. It is a bit less direct.”
“Play on.” I pressed the button to begin the next message.
“Miss Sauvage, this is Miss Carolyn Dubois. We’ve not met, but it has recently come to my attention that you have joined our peers at the University and I would like to extend the welcome of Gamma Delta Epsilon Sorority. I understand you have inquired at several fraternities, looking for suitable housing for your employer, Mr. Cyning. What a horrid thing you must have endured to approach any one of those houses! I honor your courage. I met with some of my sisters here at Gamma Delta and we thought we might be able to help you in your quest. We are organizing a social mixer here at the sorority house on October tenth and would like to invite you and Mr. Cyning to attend. I assure you this is not a recruitment event and will have guests from several of the more reputable Greek houses on campus. We would all like to meet you and show you that the Greek societies are not just party houses, but are service-oriented organizations striving to make the best of our education. Please let me know if you and Mr. Cyning will be able to attend.”
“That sounds very nice. Do you suppose it is genuine?” Liam asked.
“It’s hard to say, but since they clearly invited both of us, it should be safe. And it would be good to meet some of our fellow students informally. If I recall, there’s a football game at the stadium that day. We might make it your official college visit day,” I said. “Why don’t I make some inquiries and if it all looks good, accept the invitation?”
“Just don’t leave my side,” Liam sighed. “If I find myself suddenly surrounded by women, I might panic and run.”
Comments
Please feel free to send comments to the author at nathan@nathaneverett.com.
