Jackie the Beanstalk
Chapter 12
Giant-Size Crush
I WOKE UP in the morning, wrapped in the arms of my Greek god. We never made it into the house. Mr. Hakuryu’s lawn was soft and well-manicured and my graduation gown made a fine bed. Roadkill sprawled across us made a blanket. Fum woke up and looked into my eyes with a big smile.
“I suppose you want something I’m not supposed to give,” he sighed. We’d already had most everything. It took me a minute to figure out what else I might want. Then I remembered.
“Oh. Yeah. I suppose so. I’m supposed to take Baron Federico Rex to his parents’ home in East Love. But then if everything goes well, we’re bringing him right back here,” I said, hoping that would ease the conflict. “Don’t you think that would count? You could go right back to guarding him.”
“You have slain me, Warrior Wizard Jackie. I am yours to do with as you wish. Not only will I let you go, I’ll escort you to see you safely there,” he said, kissing me again. So dreamy.
“Maybe I can get Misty and Princess to ride with Mr. Hakuryu and the two of us can ride together,” I said.
“Mmm. Nice car, but I don’t think I’ll fit. I’ll follow in mine.” He pointed toward the opposite side of the drive where a utilitarian white Ford Super Duty F250 was parked.
“I bet you can keep up with me,” I grinned. “Let’s go in and have some breakfast. I’m starving.”
“I don’t know. I might not be welcome there. He’s got a family heirloom of mine and we’ve been a little in conflict over it.”
“Neither of you is going to be anything but nice and polite as long as I’m there. Besides, I might have to fight Mr. Hakuryu to take Baron with me if he won the game against his sister last night.”
“I hope not, because I could not stand to see you in danger. I don’t think he plays basketball,” Fum said.
“How did you get the name Fum? It seems so undignified. You are certainly a man with dignity,” I said.
“My baby sister,” he said. I raised an eyebrow at him. “My name is actually Freedom. When Libby was little, she couldn’t get the whole word out. I became Fum and it’s stuck with me ever since.”
“Freedom is a wonderful name. Do you mind if I use that?”
“I’d be delighted if you used my real name, Jackie. I’d like to hear it from your lips over and over.”
“Take it, Freedom. Take it from my lips.” I lifted my head so he could bend to my kiss. What an experience! Even the guys I went out with who were tall, weren’t tall like this. I looked up to him and was smitten. We were on the steps at the door when the butler opened it and looked up at us. He twitched a little, but scarcely responded to the two of us standing together.
“Mr. Hakuryu invites you in for breakfast,” he said, standing back with the door open. “Watch your heads.”
The warning was pointless as the doors and halls in the mansion were easily ten feet high. I saw Freedom instinctively duck anyway. I suppose I did, too. We were led immediately to the dining room where Hakuryu, Misty, Princess, Baron, Roadkill, and Shasta were already seated. Interestingly, Princess now sat across from her brother instead of next to him. Misty was next to Princess. There were two seats at the end of the table set for Freedom and me. We nodded politely as we were seated.
“Mr. Hakuryu, Princess Bridget Rex, Baron Federico Rex, Misty, Roadkill, and Shasta,” I said. “Please let me introduce you all to my boyfriend, Freedom.”
“Boyfriend?” Misty squeaked. “He’ll never fit! I mean, in the car!”
“It must have been a very interesting match,” Hakuryu said.
“Oh, it was. I kind of lost track of the score, though.”
“Warrior Wizard Jackie has slain the loneliness within me and I am bound to her with chains of love,” he said reaching for my hand. I swooned. How poetic.
“How went the Last Battle indoors?” I asked. Baron stood at his seat and I thought he was going to claim victory, but apparently Hakuryu had schooled him well.
“There is but one person I will ever call Sovereign after my parents have retired from the field. That person has shown her ability to defeat me on the open field of battle with superb strategy and tactics. I will gladly abdicate my place on the throne in favor of my sister, Princess Bridget Rex, and intend to travel with you to East Love to establish the same. Hail to the Sovereign heir!” the boy said. Hakuryu nodded his approval. Princess stood and faced her brother.
“I have found the test to be rigorous and my brother to be a stalwart, worthy, and honorable opponent. Now, however, I offer my hand in peace across this table, accepting your homage but also recognizing your place in the Land. One day, my brother, you will be the general who commands the armies of Victoriana. Hail to the General!” She reached across the table and they shook hands. It was a Kodak moment. Too bad we had no paparazzi snapping pictures.
“It seems we have one more order of business and we can all go happily on our way,” Hakuryu said. “Fum…”
“Freedom is his name,” I broke in. Hakuryu looked at me, startled. He nodded and settled down again.
“Mr. Freedom, I have been accused of stealing certain undescribed family heirlooms of yours. I cannot let that claim go unsettled. I assure you I do not even know your family and could not have collected anything of theirs. I must demand an apology and putting to rest these claims,” he said.
Great. I could still end up with a battle on my hands and I didn’t want to think which of the men might win. Freedom had strength and mass on his side, along with a pretty good brain, as far as I could tell. Hakuryu had age, experience, and untested magic. He’d said he could use his powers against the giant, but that might only be true outside his house.
“My parents—both as tall as I am—were once performers in a circus sideshow,” Freedom started. I saw Hakuryu crease his brow and shift uncomfortably.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of in that,” he said. “Many people who were ‘unusual’ took jobs performing when they couldn’t get work in any other line.”
“I project no shame on my parents,” Freedom said. “But the circus master was a hard man. I won’t say cruel. No one was treated any better or worse than he was, but he held the line firmly and demanded unquestioned obedience. The circus prospered, but not so the performers. They were little more than slaves, unable to escape because they had nowhere to go. When they finally had an opportunity to escape, my parents left with nothing but the clothes on their back and fled into the wilderness. What little they owned, they left in their circus wagon.”
“That’s a sad story, Mr. Freedom. I’m still not sure how it relates to me,” Hakuryu said.
“My mother had one treasure: a cameo given to her by a former lover that she wore all the time. I’m told my parents escaped because their wagon broke an axle. They watched for the driver to leave to get help and then rushed from the wagon. In the process, her cameo necklace was pulled off. It was left lying on the floor of the wagon. I have spent most of my adult life searching for their wagon and the lost cameo. It might seem a small thing to you, cameos are not typically valuable pieces of jewelry, but it was all my mother had from her lover. I wish to take it to her to give to my sister. I believe you came into possession of that wagon and as a result, the cameo within it. You see, you owned that circus.”
We all sat silently and watched Mr. Hakuryu process the information. It was a startling and revealing story. Even believing no ill of him, it was easy to see how the precious family heirloom would have come into his possession.
“It has been many years since I owned a circus. I’m sure you were yet unborn when it was dismantled and everyone went away. If my circus was the one your parents were in—which is not entirely likely—I would probably not have your heirloom in my possession. Nor could you identify it, based on what you have said. We are still at an impasse,” Hakuryu said. “How would I ever find such a thing among my possessions, let alone verify that it is the one you seek?”
“Even if I had not been told by the Caesars that you still had the entire circus wagons and equipment in your possession, I believe you know precisely what cameo I am referring to.”
He pulled up the sleeve of his T-shirt and showed his well-muscled shoulder. I must say, I was willing to remove the entire shirt from him and then just keep going. But he turned his shoulder toward the table and we could all see the elegant tattoo. I hadn’t noticed it in the dark, when we were both… uh… showing a lot of skin. It was a woman facing us, wearing a locket around her neck. Wrapped around the woman so that nothing indecent was exposed, was a dragon.
“You see, Mr. Hakuryu, it was the only thing she was wearing the night you made love. This image was inked in my skin as a reminder that I should seek the dragon in possession of the cameo, for he is my true father.”
There was a stunned silence. Baron scowled at Freedom because the boy thought he’d just taken the place of a son to Hakuryu. He was not interested in an interloper.
“That was such a long time ago,” Hakuryu whispered.
“I’m twenty-six years old.”
“Time is different for dragons. The morning after she was stolen away from me, I was a hundred years older than I’d been the night before. The broken axle was no accident, but was contrived by the other giant in the circus who had designs on her. Since that morning, I have been working my way back in time to find her. When I awoke, the circus wagons had all been abandoned long before. They were derelicts parked on this very spot. I converted them into my home and began searching for the treasures that have built this mansion. But all the time I was looking for the beautiful giantess, Rhianna—sworn to kill the oaf that took her away.”
“He’s already dead. Mother never told me exactly how he died, but just that he had a ‘weak stomach.’ I was six years old and my little sister was just a year. She renamed us Freedom and Liberty that day.”
“I need… I want… I’m over nine hundred years old and I don’t know what I should do,” Hakuryu sighed.
“I have not come to make any claim upon you other than to return the cameo so my mother can hand it to my sister. It was my mother’s only heirloom,” Freedom said.
“You shall have it,” Hakuryu declared, “when your mother places it in your hand. I will give it to no other than my precious Rhianna.”
“Then I’ll…”
“Wait!” I cried out. “Don’t go making statements of bravado! Don’t make threats! Don’t speak in absolutes! Just stop it!” I was surprised when they both stopped where they were and turned to me. “Freedom, Mr. Hakuryu’s proposal fulfills your quest as well. What difference does it make if he places the cameo in your mother’s hand or if you do? Either way, she’ll give it to your sister. Where does your mother live?”
“A long way south of here. In the land of Adavena.”
“We need to make the trip north to East Love so we can restore order to the land of Victoriana. Then you and I and Mr. Hakuryu can turn south and find your mother to return the cameo.” There was a soft growl beside me and I glanced down at Roadkill. “And Baron and Misty and Shasta and Roadkill,” I said.
“Me, too,” Princess said.
“We’ll need a caravan,” I sighed.
“Don’t you have duties and responsibilities at the capital?” Misty asked Princess.
“Not really. Once the succession is set, all I need to do is show up each year on succession day. Speaking of which, you know it’s only a few days away and this whole adventure will have been a waste if Valentine is the only one who shows up,” Princess said. I rolled my eyes at Misty and she rolled hers right back at me.
“And you two,” I said to Freedom and Hakuryu, “can use the time to get to know each other like a father and son.” Both men scowled, but didn’t say a thing.
“How far is it back to East Love?” Misty asked.
“We’ve traveled a thousand miles to get here,” I sighed.
“It’s only 450 miles from here to East Love,” the butler said. “If we can get out of here by noon, we can camp overnight a few miles from the Solo Bridge. You could all pack what you need and get freshened up,” he wrinkled his nose at Freedom and me, “while I get the carriages ready. We’ll be at East Love late tomorrow.”
“The celebration!” Hakuryu exclaimed. “There’s no reason we shouldn’t take everyone. We should all be there for the Succession Day Festival. Call up the entire company, Jeeves. Or what’s left of them.”
“If you will accompany me, I have prepared a room so you can freshen up while I get the wagons ready,” the butler said to Freedom and me. “Please forgive me if I’ve overstepped. I assumed you might want a room for the two of you separate from the rest of your party,” he whispered. Freedom and I both blushed but held hands as we entered the room the butler showed us.
The caravan that set out from The Trove just after noon was the strangest thing I’d ever seen. There were five huge circus wagons. Each was hitched behind a gaily painted pickup truck like a travel trailer.
“When I woke up from my nap, the wagons were terribly deteriorated, as I said,” Hakuryu told us. “And they were completely out of date. I completely renovated and updated them, with better suspension and tires, electricity, water, sewer connections, a kitchen, and an awning to shade the entrance of each wagon. As I did the work, I happened onto performers I had known or who were children or grandchildren of performers I’d known. It turned out that we all clustered in this single neighborhood and only venture out on occasion, but we spend a lot of time in our wagons.”
Hakuryu had his own wagon and truck. This made the adventure much more exciting for Baron than riding 450 miles in the back seat of a car with his sister and two animals. The butler and maid, Jeeves and Midge, were a couple and had their own truck and wagon. Jeeves made sure Freedom’s truck was properly equipped and hooked up the giant’s wagon to it. Freedom was over the moon happy to have his mother’s circus wagon to pull. And up in the front of the caravan was my 1968 Ford Fairlane 500 Fastback. I checked around to be sure everyone was in. Misty, Princess, Roadkill, and Shasta. Behind me, Freedom smiled and waved. Then came Mr. Hakuryu and Baron, followed by Jeeves and Midge. I hadn’t met the drivers of the last two wagons, which were bunkhouses. I was informed we’d be picking up other people along the way.
I started the Fairlane, raised my hand out the window, and waved the caravan forward. “Where to, Misty?” I asked. She happily opened the TripTik and pointed me to the left. The caravan followed.
Mile 1557
“Well, do you believe now? You’ve met werewolves, ghosts, and a dragon. And let us not forget the giant,” Misty said as we drove along the highway. Princess and the animals were singing along with one of the country songs that seemed to be on every station we tuned the radio to.
“How can it be?” I sighed. “I must be dreaming. You know, they say you can dream a lifetime overnight. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and Mr. Rogers will be calling my name to come and get the diploma before he throws it out. None of this can be real.”
“Not even Freedom?”
I heaved a huge sigh. “I don’t want to wake up. He’s the best thing I’ve ever come across. We played hard and not like he was giving me points. We were well-matched on the court and then it got really physical, and talk about being well-matched. I was so afraid I was going to wake up when we went in to take a shower that I took him in with me. And you know… One thing led to another.”
“Really?” she said sarcastically.
“Yeah. And another. I can hardly stand that he’s in the truck behind me and not sitting beside me. Or maybe that I’m in the Fairlane instead of his truck. I just know I’m going to be heartbroken when I wake up. It’s not fair.”
“Of course, you could simply admit that it’s all real and not have to worry about waking up,” Misty said. “Would that be so bad?”
“I don’t know. Would I end up with one quest after another until one of them kills me? I’ve already got enemies at Thunder Mountain among the snakes. And speaking of snakes, there’s the Caesars. And then the border patrol at Anatnomia and the werewolves. What kind of stupid stuff would I have to do to complete the next quest?”
“Well, if the next quest was making sure a certain cameo got to a certain giant’s mother, it might not be so bad,” Misty chuckled.
“I personally object to being considered a dream,” Princess said. “I have my own dreams and it just doesn’t make sense to have my dreams be part of your dream of me dreaming. When you wake up, you’re going to realize we were all real and you missed out by considering us all dreams.”
“I’m sorry, Princess. I don’t mean to imply you aren’t real. It’s me that isn’t real. I’m using my dream state to visit your world. How does that sound?” I asked. I had an answer in my mind before she spoke.
“Lame.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“Hey! Look at that bridge!” Misty shouted. I’d swear it was the same bridge as the first one we crossed on our adventure. On the other hand, the second bridge we crossed looked just like it as well.
“Look! There’s a food truck stopped for us to go by. Remember the hot breakfast the diner fixed for us and it stayed hot all night. See? That’s the kind of impossible thing I’m talking about that makes me believe I’m dreaming,” I declared.
“Even with our waitress and the cook in the front seat and turning to follow our caravan?” Misty said. In the rearview mirror, I saw the diner food truck turn to join our caravan.
“Do you suppose they are part of Hakuryu’s circus?” I asked.
“Well, they’re certainly a part of yours.”
We rode on quietly except for Roadkill and Shasta singing for another fifteen minutes.
“The TripTik says turn left into the campground ahead.”
I spotted it this time and was able to slow down and turn in. Déjà vu all over again.
“Misty, we’ve been going in a big circle! This is the same campground where we spent our first night. And there’s site 33 with my symbol on it!” I pulled into the site and watched all the others in our caravan pull in with us. Freedom maneuvered his wagon into the next site over. I wouldn’t need to walk far to get there. Mmmhmm!
It had apparently been some time since Hakuryu’s band of merry circus performers had been on the road together. It took a while to get everyone set up and I spent time wandering around to meet others. Even Freedom had to be instructed by Jeeves in how to set up the wagon. I walked over to the food truck and discovered they were pulling a little camper behind it. Sure enough, my waitress from the Diner was there, along with the cook who had fixed our magic breakfast. As soon as she saw me, the waitress rushed over to give me a hug. Yes, she did have a very nice shape and I might have held her a second or two longer than necessary.
“It is so wonderful to see you again, Warrior Wizard. Will you please join us for dinner? Bernard is fixing your favorite chili burger,” she said. As far as she knew, it must be the only thing I eat, but it did sound good.
“I’ll gladly join you,” I said, “but you must call me Jackie.”
“Of course, War… Jackie. I’m Raquel and my man over there is Bernard.”
“In that case, may I bring my friends for dinner? You remember Misty and Roadkill. We’ve added Shasta and Princess and Freedom. Wait until you see him. He’s so yummy!” I said.
“Oh, we’ll serve the whole camp tonight,” Bernard said, coming up to us. “I’d better start cooking.” In a few minutes, half a dozen picnic tables had been moved to the area around the food truck. Camp was set up, music had begun from somewhere, and Raquel was hustling food from the truck to the company. I, naturally, managed to grab hold of my man and watch Raquel’s eyes pop open when she saw him. She ran back to the truck and had an animated conversation with Bernard. A few minutes later, she returned with our meals. We both had the smothered chili burgers, but Freedom’s plate was fully twice the size of mine!
“May I join you?” asked a voice I found slightly familiar. I turned and looked up at Scarecrow, the fixer.
“Hey! Please join us,” I said. “You remember Misty, don’t you? And Roadkill. This is Princess and Shasta, and this hunk beside me is Freedom.”
“A pleasure to meet you all,” he said as he sat. Raquel was there almost instantly with his dinner.
“What brings you back this way?” I asked.
“Waiting to join you for the trip to East Love,” he said. “Word has gone out across the land for the big Succession Day celebration. It’s very interesting. Some say it will be the reaffirmation of Baron Rex as the successor. Others say there will be an announcement of the marriage of Princess Rex. Still others say Valentine Caesar will be named as successor. Regardless, people are migrating from all over the land to East Love for the celebration.”
“If we’ve done our job correctly, none of those will be correct,” I said. “We’ve had a long and difficult road to follow these past weeks. I’m seeing it through to the end.”
“The faithful discharge of your quest might still require action on your part,” Scarecrow said. “Don’t count the task as over yet.”
“That’s encouraging.”
“What should we be expecting?” Misty asked.
“You’ve thwarted most of the incompetent plans of Valentine Caesar,” Scarecrow said. “I know you’ve met him on numerous occasions. But he was never the brains of his family. His grandfather, August Caesar, hatched the plot to remove the Rex’s line of succession. He’s quite a powerful wizard himself. He would put Valentine on the throne, but by no means would the incompetent idiot actually rule. August intends to make the rules and collect the taxes.”
“I’ve heard about him, but have only encountered his grandson.”
“And you know you have to pass his fortress—I mean hotel resort—on the way into East Love. I would expect that someplace between here and there, you will meet his forces,” Scarecrow said.
“Forces? Like an army?” Misty asked.
“Probably not that disciplined, nor that numerous, but just as determined.”
“How do you know all this?” Princess asked.
“Ah, Princess. You know that when your brother was taken, his nanny was left on the swing set singing ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.’ I was called to see about fixing her. Ultimately, I discovered she was actually in on the whole thing and when we got through the artificial barrier, she proved most informative about what was planned,” Scarecrow said.
We talked until nightfall, but everyone was tired from rushing to get on the road and drive the 200 miles we had today. Journeying in a caravan of circus wagons is a bit slower than it would be to just drive the distance in the Fairlane. We all retired early. I glanced in at my tent where Misty and Princess were settling down with the animals. When Roadkill saw me zipping up the tent from the outside, he hurriedly pushed his way out to join me. Well, he’d been with me the night before when I first met Freedom. It was always nice to know a dog was lying across the entrance.
I met Freedom at the door to the giant’s wagon and he ushered me inside with Roadkill. What a beautiful little apartment! It had a higher ceiling than the other wagons so Freedom could stand up without danger of hitting his head. Everything was super-sized, including a more than king size bed. We soon discovered we could both stretch out fully on it and not have our feet hanging over the edge.
And, as soon as we could arrange ourselves, that was where we stayed for the rest of the night.
Comments
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
